Old poetry brought to life

Excellent post to cap off National Poetry Month, right? This is a clip of Natalie Merchant singing a selection of songs from her latest album; all the songs in this album are adapted from old poems.

Ghosts, right? They have nothing to say to us… obsolete, gone… Not so! What I really enjoyed about this project was reviving these people’s words, taking them off the dead, flat pages, bringing them to life.

Excellent post to cap off National Poetry Month, right? This is a clip of Natalie Merchant singing a selection of songs from her latest album, Leave Your Sleep; all the songs in this album are adapted from old poems.

My favourites in this video are Charles Edward Carryl’s The Sleepy Giant (00:15) and E.E. Cummings’ maggie and milly and molly and may (8:00). I’ve purchased the whole album from iTunes, and I’m sure I’ll have more favourites before long.

What I Used To Write

Talk about a blast from the past. A few months ago my folks found a few binders full of notes and writings from long ago, and asked me to take a look at it before throwing it out. What a find!

Talk about a blast from the past. A few months ago my folks found a few binders full of notes and writings from long ago, and asked me to take a look at it before throwing it out. What a find! The treasure trove includes:

  • Some printouts of my finished short stories, written around 1994, plus 2/3 of the final version of my first novel (finished 1992). Plus the maps that went with the novel. Can’t have a cool fantasy novel without maps, dontchaknow.
  • Notes and drafts for two more short stories, which I finished but don’t have the final versions of anymore; reams of notes on poems and various half-finished projects; all written 1994–1995
  • A dream journal I kept up for a few months in ’94. A self-hypnosis journal around the same time
  • Drafts of my Web site (first online in September 1995). Including notes of me learning HTML, and printouts of some of the pages.
  • Notes about my evolving spirituality—not beliefs, because at that time I was sliding into agnosticism, but playing around with symbols, rituals and made-up mythology.
  • Various odds and ends: a couple pages of quotes I really liked; episode guides to Star Trek: TNG and Space: 1999 for some reason; notes on an unsent letter to Phil Farrand, with feedback on nits he missed and criticism of his occasional heterosexist attitude; a map for an AD&D campaign I briefly DM’d sometime in the mid-80’s. The overall plotline, IIRC, was “inspired” (by which I mean, “ripped off”) from Moorcock’s Elric of Melniboné and Donaldson’s Chronicles of Thomas Covenant; maps and world-building notes for another AD&D campaign, a couple of years later, that I never got to play in.

I’m throwing most of it away. The story notes, the poetry? Gone. The dream and self-hypnosis journals? Outta here. The novel? Recycled (no, I don’t have a soft copy). The Web site drafts? Like you really need to ask.

Let’s be honest here, aside from the very temporary nostalgia value, I’ve got no reason to reread any of this stuff. It’s coming at me from long ago and far away, and is pretty well irrelevant. There’s nothing useful this motley assortment of words can give me. I haven’t written fiction or poetry in over ten years, and have no particular desire to pick it up again. I haven’t played D&D since the early ’90’s, and likewise don’t miss it. And if the journal isn’t helping me remember any of these dreams from 15 years ago, what good is it?

And, with all due respect to my younger self: my prose and poetry was mostly crap. I mean, there’s a reason why I never tried to publish any of it, with one exception. The novel was mediocre clichéd sword-and-sorcery fantasy, the shorts were a little better but mostly written for myself as creativity exercises, and the poems… okay, some of them weren’t bad. I put a few up on my site for a while, back in the day. But still, nothing to write home about, and I took them down when I began blogging more regularly.

The self-hypnosis stuff… yeah. I was trying so hard to deal with my many issues, and figure out where my life was going, but I didn’t really know how to go about it. I was so used to living inside my own head anyway, so this seemed like a good idea. In hindsight, it proved mostly just a lot of mental masturbation. I say “mostly” because I did get a couple of useful insights and actions out of it. I guess it was a bit like cognitive therapy, except without a trained professional.

The spirituality stuff was more interesting, but even then (late ’95–early ’96) pretty much on the decline. I’d gone through my my kinda-Pagan phase and was sliding into agnosticism, then atheism. None of these made-up rituals and things were ever that useful—see “mental masturbation” above—and I eventually dropped them by late ’97 (after I started identifying as atheist, but that’s a whole ‘nother story).

Still…

Still, in a more or less direct way, it’s all got me to where I am now. That first site evolved over many iterations, leading to this here blog, plus giving me the skills and confidence to branch out in the last year. Those fantasy stories got me used to putting words on paper or computer screen, which led to articles in student papers, and eventually this blog.

Doesn’t mean I need to spend much time navel-gazing, fun though it could be. It’s a brand new day, a brand new year, and I need to look forward, not backward. I’ll just take a few select pieces that have real sentimental value, and move on.

Foggy

I took the day off sick. No, I really wasn’t feeling well, this wasn’t so I could watch the US Inauguration live—though that was a nice bonus. And I’d like to say that, as Barack Hussein Obama took his oath of office, that the damn fog that’s been hanging around downtown Vancouver for the last, oh, ten days at least, miraculously parted, letting the daystar shine down on my light-hungry eyes.

I took the day off sick. No, I really wasn’t feeling well, this wasn’t so I could watch the US Inauguration live—though that was a nice bonus. And I’d like to say that, as Barack Hussein Obama took his oath of office, that the damn fog that’s been hanging around downtown Vancouver for the last, oh, ten days at least, miraculously parted, letting the daystar shine down on my light-hungry eyes.

Not so much, though. But I did go out for a bit this afternoon and shot some pictures around Sunset Beach, something I’d been meaning to do for a while but there just wasn’t enough light before or after work.

False Creek Ferry

Back to the Inauguration, I loved Obama’s speech, stressing the familiar themes of unity, service and hope. And how, with impeccable class and without naming names, he repudiated everything the Bush/Cheney administration did and stood for.

But I have to give a shoutout to Reverend Joseph Lowery, who gave the ending benediction. Yes, I know, I’m not happy with invoking gods in what should be a secular ceremony, but… seriously, this guy’s awesome! Humility, humour, great timing and delivery, true dedication to his brothers and sisters. Washed the bitter taste of that blowhard bigot Rick Warren’s prayer right out of my mouth.

And, as long as I’m posting videos, here’s the great Maya Angelou reading a poem at Bill Clinton’s 1993 inauguration.

Things I Didn’t Know I Loved

Found via GrrlScientist, here’s a poem I’d never heard of, by one Nazim Hikmet, a Turkish author I’d never heard of either. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read.

Found via GrrlScientist, here’s a poem I’d never heard of, by one Nazim Hikmet, a Turkish author I’d never heard of either. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read.

it’s 1962 March 28th
I’m sitting by the window on the Prague-Berlin train
night is falling
I never knew I liked
night descending like a tired bird on a smoky wet plain
I don’t like
comparing nightfall to a tired bird

I didn’t know I loved the earth
can someone who hasn’t worked the earth love it
I’ve never worked the earth
it must be my only Platonic love

and here I’ve loved rivers all this time
whether motionless like this they curl skirting the hills
European hills crowned with chateaus
or whether stretched out flat as far as the eye can see
I know you can’t wash in the same river even once
I know the river will bring new lights you’ll never see
I know we live slightly longer than a horse but not nearly as long as a crow
I know this has troubled people before
and will trouble those after me
I know all this has been said a thousand times before
and will be said after me

I didn’t know I loved the sky
cloudy or clear
the blue vault Andrei studied on his back at Borodino
in prison I translated both volumes of War and Peace into Turkish
I hear voices
not from the blue vault but from the yard
the guards are beating someone again
I didn’t know I loved trees
bare beeches near Moscow in Peredelkino
they come upon me in winter noble and modest
beeches are Russian the way poplars are Turkish
“the poplars of Izmir
losing their leaves…
they call me The Knife…
lover like a young tree…
I blow stately mansions sky-high”
in the Ilgaz woods in 1920 I tied an embroidered linen handkerchief
to a pine bough for luck

I never knew I loved roads
even the asphalt kind
Vera’s behind the wheel we’re driving from Moscow to the Crimea
Koktebele
formerly “Goktepé ili” in Turkish
the two of us inside a closed box
the world flows past on both sides distant and mute
I was never so close to anyone in my life
bandits stopped me on the red road between Bolu and Geredé
when I was eighteen
apart from my life I didn’t have anything in the wagon they could take
and at eighteen our lives are what we value least
I’ve written this somewhere before
wading through a dark muddy street I’m going to the shadow play
Ramazan night
a paper lantern leading the way
maybe nothing like this ever happened
maybe I read it somewhere an eight-year-old boy
going to the shadow play
Ramazan night in Istanbul holding his grandfather’s hand
his grandfather has on a fez and is wearing the fur coat
with a sable collar over his robe
and there’s a lantern in the servant’s hand
and I can’t contain myself for joy
flowers come to mind for some reason
poppies cactuses jonquils
in the jonquil garden in Kadikoy Istanbul I kissed Marika
fresh almonds on her breath
I was seventeen
my heart on a swing touched the sky
I didn’t know I loved flowers
friends sent me three red carnations in prison

I just remembered the stars
I love them too
whether I’m floored watching them from below
or whether I’m flying at their side

I have some questions for the cosmonauts
were the stars much bigger
did they look like huge jewels on black velvet
or apricots on orange
did you feel proud to get closer to the stars
I saw color photos of the cosmos in Ogonek magazine now don’t
be upset comrades but nonfigurative shall we say or abstract
well some of them looked just like such paintings which is to
say they were terribly figurative and concrete
my heart was in my mouth looking at them
they are our endless desire to grasp things
seeing them I could even think of death and not feel at all sad
I never knew I loved the cosmos

snow flashes in front of my eyes
both heavy wet steady snow and the dry whirling kind
I didn’t know I liked snow

I never knew I loved the sun
even when setting cherry-red as now
in Istanbul too it sometimes sets in postcard colors
but you aren’t about to paint it that way
I didn’t know I loved the sea
except the Sea of Azov
or how much

I didn’t know I loved clouds
whether I’m under or up above them
whether they look like giants or shaggy white beasts

moonlight the falsest the most languid the most petit-bourgeois
strikes me
I like it

I didn’t know I liked rain
whether it falls like a fine net or splatters against the glass my
heart leaves me tangled up in a net or trapped inside a drop
and takes off for uncharted countries I didn’t know I loved
rain but why did I suddenly discover all these passions sitting
by the window on the Prague-Berlin train
is it because I lit my sixth cigarette
one alone could kill me
is it because I’m half dead from thinking about someone back in Moscow
her hair straw-blond eyelashes blue

the train plunges on through the pitch-black night
I never knew I liked the night pitch-black
sparks fly from the engine
I didn’t know I loved sparks
I didn’t know I loved so many things and I had to wait until sixty
to find it out sitting by the window on the Prague-Berlin train
watching the world disappear as if on a journey of no return

19 April 1962
Moscow

Translated by Randy Blasing and Mutlu Konuk (1993)

Ode To A Juvenile Bald Eagle I Saw Perched By The SeaBus Terminal Friday Morning

O little Bald Eagle
(Well, not that little, you might have been three feet long)
I saw you from the escalator as I exited the train
Just sitting there, huddled against the rain
Quietly looking around
At everything and nothing

Juvenile Bald Eagle
O little Bald Eagle
(Well, not that little, you might have been three feet long)
I saw you from the escalator as I exited the train
Just sitting there, huddled against the rain
Quietly looking around
At everything and nothing
Juvenile Bald Eagle
I wasn’t even sure what species you were at first
Since your plumage was dark brown with
A few white spots around the head and back
But the only big raptors around here are Bald Eagles
And seagulls for instance take a year or more to grow their adult colours
So it was a pretty safe bet
Later I googled “juvenile bald eagle” and there you were
Juvenile Bald Eagle
Your beak so sharp, your eyes so bright
Elegant lethal beauty
Grace and power I can only dream of
Even if I could have gotten closer I wouldn’t have dared
Afraid you’d fly away
(And, just a little bit, afraid you’d attack me)
Juvenile Bald Eagle
No one else looked at you
A vision for my eyes only
A special gift

I was glad
I paid attention

La Conscience

I’m in a French mood this time. Must be from reading Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables. So let’s cap off this month with one of Hugo’s most stunning and grandiose poems: La Conscience. Because some days, there’s just no substitute for a Biblical epic recounted in florid Romantic language. This is the story of Cain’s flight after killing Abel: he tries to run from his guilt (represented as a celestial Eye that only he can see), then tries to hide, to no avail.

I’m in a French mood this time. Must be from reading Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables. So let’s cap off this month with one of Hugo’s most stunning and grandiose poems: La Conscience. Because some days, there’s just no substitute for a Biblical epic recounted in florid Romantic language. This is the story of Cain’s flight after killing Abel: he tries to run from his guilt (represented as a celestial Eye that only he can see), then tries to hide, to no avail. This work is full of larger-than-life mythical figures and over-the-top emotions accompanied by violent weather, as befits a Romantic poem. The meter is flawless (alexandrine verse? oh yes), the language is exquisite, the images are gripping. Truly, a masterpiece.

La Conscience

Lorsque avec ses enfants vêtus de peaux de bêtes,
Échevelé, livide au milieu des tempêtes,
Caïn se fut enfui de devant Jéhovah,
Comme le soir tombait, l’homme sombre arriva
Au bas d’une montagne en une grande plaine ;
Sa femme fatiguée et ses fils hors d’haleine
Lui dirent : — Couchons-nous sur la terre, et dormons. —
Caïn, ne dormant pas, songeait au pied des monts.
Ayant levé la tête, au fond des cieux funèbres
Il vit un œil tout grand ouvert dans les ténèbres,
Et qui le regardait dans l’ombre fixement.
— Je suis trop près, dit-il avec un tremblement.
Il réveilla ses fils dormant, sa femme lasse,
Et se remit à fuir sinistre dans l’espace.
Il marcha trente jours, il marcha trente nuits.
Il allait, muet, pâle et frémissant aux bruits,
Furtif, sans regarder derrière lui, sans trêve,
Sans repos, sans sommeil. Il atteignit la grève
Des mers dans le pays qui fut depuis Assur.
— Arrêtons-nous, dit-il, car cet asile est sûr.
Restons-y. Nous avons du monde atteint les bornes. —
Et, comme il s’asseyait, il vit dans les cieux mornes
L’œil à la même place au fond de l’horizon.
Alors il tressaillit en proie au noir frisson.
— Cachez-moi, cria-t-il ; et, le doigt sur la bouche,
Tous ses fils regardaient trembler l’aïeul farouche.
Caïn dit à Jabel, père de ceux qui vont
Sous des tentes de poil dans le désert profond :
Étends de ce côté la toile de la tente.
Et l’on développa la muraille flottante ;
Et, quand on l’eut fixée avec des poids de plomb :
Vous ne voyez plus rien ? dit Tsilla, l’enfant blond,
La fille de ses fils, douce comme l’aurore ;
Et Caïn répondit : — Je vois cet œil encore !
Jubal, père de ceux qui passent dans les bourgs
Soufflant dans les clairons et frappant des tambours,
Cria : — Je saurai bien construire une barrière.
Il fit un mur de bronze et mit Caïn derrière.
Et Caïn dit : — Cet œil me regarde toujours !
Hénoch dit : — Il faut faire une enceinte de tours
Si terrible, que rien ne puisse approcher d’elle.
Bâtissons une ville avec sa citadelle.
Bâtissons une ville, et nous la fermerons.
Alors Tubalcaïn, père des forgerons,
Construisit une ville énorme et surhumaine.
Pendant qu’il travaillait, ses frères, dans la plaine,
Chassaient les fils d’Enos et les enfants de Seth ;
Et l’on crevait les yeux à quiconque passait ;
Et, le soir, on lançait des flèches aux étoiles.
Le granit remplaça la tente aux murs de toiles,
On lia chaque bloc avec des nœuds de fer,
Et la ville semblait une ville d’enfer ;
L’ombre des tours faisait la nuit dans les campagnes ;
Ils donnèrent aux murs l’épaisseur des montagnes ;
Sur la porte on grava : « Défense à Dieu d’entrer. »
Quand ils eurent fini de clore et de murer,
On mit l’aïeul au centre en une tour de pierre.
Et lui restait lugubre et hagard. — O mon père !
L’œil a-t-il disparu ? dit en tremblant Tsilla.
Et Caïn répondit : — Non, il est toujours là.
Alors il dit : — Je veux habiter sous la terre
Comme dans son sépulcre un homme solitaire ;
Rien ne me verra plus, je ne verrai plus rien. —
On fit donc une fosse, et Caïn dit : C’est bien !
Puis il descendit seul sous cette voûte sombre.
Quand il se fut assis sur sa chaise dans l’ombre
Et qu’on eut sur son front fermé le souterrain,
L’œil était dans la tombe et regardait Caïn.

Wings Of A Wild Goose

Chrystos is a Native American lesbian poet. I went to one of her readings shortly after I moved to Vancouver. I’d never heard of her before, and was deeply moved by her work. It speaks of the harsh realities of life, poverty and racism and sexism and love and activism and spirituality, and how all these things interact.

Chrystos is a Native American lesbian poet. I went to one of her readings shortly after I moved to Vancouver. I’d never heard of her before, and was deeply moved by her work. It speaks of the harsh realities of life, poverty and racism and sexism and love and activism and spirituality, and how all these things interact. At the time I wanted so much to write like she did, fierce and unapologetic and flowing straight from the heart. The following is from her first collection of poetry, Not Vanishing.

Wings Of A Wild Goose

A hen, one who could have brought more geese, a female, a wild one
dead     Shot by an excited ignorant young blond boy, his first
His mother threw the wings in the garbage     I rinsed them
brought them home, hung them spread wide on my studio wall
A reminder of so much, saving what I can’t bear to be wasted
Wings
I dream of wings which carry me far above human bitterness
human walls     A goose who will have no more tiny pale fluttering
goslings to bring alive     to shelter     to feed     to watch fly
off on new wings     different winds
He has a lawn this boy     A pretty face which was recently paid
thousands of dollars to be in a television commercial     I clean
their house every Wednesday morning
2 dogs which no one brushes     flying hair everywhere
A black rabbit who is almost always out of
water     usually in a filthy cage     I’ve cleaned the cage
out of sympathy a few times although it is not part of what
are called my duties     I check the water as soon as I arrive
This rabbit & those dogs are the boy’s pets     He is very lazy
He watches television constantly leaving the sofa in the den
littered with food wrappers, soda cans, empty cereal bowls
If I’m still there when he comes home, he is rude to me     If he
has his friends with him, he makes fun of me behind my back
I muse on how he will always think of the woods
as an exciting place to kill     This family of three lives
on a five acre farm     They raise no crops     not even their own
vegetables or animals for slaughter     His father is a neurosurgeon
who longs to be a poet     His mother frantically searches
for christian enlightenment     I’m sad for her     though I don’t like
her     because I know she won’t find any     The boy does nothing
around the house to help without being paid     I’m 38 & still
haven’t saved the amount of money he has in a passbook found
in the pillows of the couch under gum wrappers     That dead goose
This boy will probably never understand that it is not right
to take without giving     He doesn’t know how to give     His mother
who cleaned & cooked the goose says she doesn’t really like
to do it but can’t understand why she should feel any different
about the goose than a chicken or hamburger from the supermarket
I bite my tongue & nod     I could explain to her that meat raised
for slaughter is very different than meat taken from the woods
where so few wild beings survive     That her ancestors are
responsible for the emptiness of this land     That lawns feed no
one     that fallow land lined with fences is sinful     That hungry
people need the food they could be growing     That spirituality
is not separate from food or wildness or respect or giving
But she already doesn’t like me     because she suspects me
of reading her husband’s poetry books when no one is around
& she’s right     I do     I need the 32 dollars a week tolerating
them provides me     I wait for the wings on my wall to speak to me
guide my hungers     teach me winds I can’t reach     I keep
these wings because walls are so hard     wildness so rare     because
ignorance must be remembered     because I am female     because I fly
only in my dreams     because I too
will have no young to let go

The Old Astronomer To His Pupil

I just remembered it’s National Poetry Month. Last year I posted an old poem of mine, but this year I thought I’d showcase the works of real poets. Now, I read very little poetry, but there are few poems that have made a strong impression on me.

The first is The Old Astronomer To His Pupil, written by 19th century poet Sarah Williams.

I just remembered it’s National Poetry Month. Last year I posted an old poem of mine, but this year I thought I’d showcase the works of real poets. Now, I read very little poetry, but there are few poems that have made a strong impression on me.

The first is The Old Astronomer To His Pupil, written by 19th century poet Sarah Williams. The first four stanzas are the most often quoted, and it’s the last line of the fourth stanza that guarantees its immortality. I found this a quietly moving tribute to the scientific profession. There is a deep respect for science, its virtues and rewards, but also, perhaps, the price one pays for practicing it. Mind you, I’m not aware of any scientist whose career is as lonely and thankless as this fictional astronomer’s… but, we’ll chalk it up to poetic license. Enjoy.

The Old Astronomer To His Pupil

Reach me down my Tycho Brahe, — I would know him when we meet,
When I share my later science, sitting humbly at his feet;
He may know the law of all things, yet be ignorant of how
We are working to completion, working on from then till now.

Pray, remember, that I leave you all my theory complete,
Lacking only certain data, for your adding as is meet;
And remember, men will scorn it, ’tis original and true,
And the obloquy of newness may fall bitterly on you.

But, my pupil, as my pupil you have learnt the worth of scorn;
You have laughed with me at pity, we have joyed to be forlorn;
What, for us, are all distractions of men’s fellowship and smiles?
What, for us, the goddess Pleasure, with her meretricious wiles?

You may tell that German college that their honour comes too late.
But they must not waste repentance on the grizzly savant’s fate;
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.

What, my boy, you are not weeping? You should save your eyes for sight;
You will need them, mine observer, yet for many another night.
I leave none but you, my pupil, unto whom my plans are known.
You “have none but me,” you murmur, and I “leave you quite alone”?

Well then, kiss me, — since my mother left her blessing on my brow,
There has been a something wanting in my nature until now;
I can dimly comprehend it, — that I might have been more kind,
Might have cherished you more wisely, as the one I leave behind.

I “have never failed in kindness”? No, we lived too high for strife, —
Calmest coldness was the error which has crept into our life;
But your spirit is untainted, I can dedicate you still
To the service of our science: you will further it? you will!

There are certain calculations I should like to make with you,
To be sure that your deductions will be logical and true;
And remember, “Patience, Patience,” is the watchword of a sage,
Not to-day nor yet to-morrow can complete a perfect age.

I have sworn, like Tycho Brahe, that a greater man may reap;
But if none should do my reaping, ’twill disturb me in my sleep.
So be careful and be faithful, though, like me, you leave no name;
See, my boy, that nothing turn you to the mere pursuit of fame.

I must say Good-bye, my pupil, for I cannot longer speak;
Draw the curtain back for Venus, ere my vision grows too weak:
It is strange the pearly planet should look red as fiery Mars, —
God will mercifully guide me on my way amongst the stars.

Wearing My Names

To conclude National Poetry Month, I thought I’d post the first and only poem of mine that ever got published. It appeared in the Fall 1994/Winter 1995 edition of The Radical Chameleon, OPIRG-Ottawa’s newsletter. I wrote a number of other poems over the next few years which I never tried to publish anywhere except this Web site—and then took offline for the current version because, well, I don’t think they’re all that good anymore. Except this one.

To conclude National Poetry Month, I thought I’d post the first and only poem of mine that ever got published. It appeared in the Fall 1994/Winter 1995 edition of The Radical Chameleon, OPIRG-Ottawa’s newsletter. I wrote a number of other poems over the next few years which I never tried to publish anywhere except this Web site—and then took offline for the current version because, well, I don’t think they’re all that good anymore. Except this one. Even after all this time, I still feel it’s pretty special, so I’m resurrecting it.

Wearing My Names

Call me Hesitant To Write This.
Spilling my guts isn’t easy for me
Coming out is hard to do.
Call me Shy, and A Private Kind Of Guy.
A piece of paper’s a pretty vulnerable place
For a heart to be.
So call me Forging Ahead Anyways.
After all,
What’s the worst that could happen?

First call me In Denial, and I mean seriously.
Had the desires, the fantasies, but
Never connected them with myself.
How’s that for doublethink?
And who was there to talk to me,
In this shell, in this shell,
And who was there to listen?

The dam broke, the truth came out.
I am homosexual. I am gay.
Call me Alone With My Secret.
Alone at least for a while.
And still afraid to speak out, speak about.
Not strong enough. Yet.

Call me Surprising Myself.
Edging my way out of the closet,
Every time a thrill.
My brothers, my parents.
«Je suis homosexuel.» «Est-ce que t’es sûr?»
“It’s a symbol of gay pride.” Loud and clear.
(Me: nervous, dozens of people around.)
Don’t want to look at pictures of naked women.
“Why?” “Because I&#82 Continue reading “Wearing My Names”